By John Ceccon

1 in 6 serial killers is a woman.

I’m a true crime junkie. I can’t get enough of it. I will watch an entire 12-week trial on YouTube, or a four-hour police interrogation video, and could probably do a better job of interrogating and maybe even defending some of them. I watched the Alex Murdaugh and Taylor Shabusiness trials like they were the #1 show on prime-time TV, and I’ve listened to every minute of the OJ Simpson trial. I love it and definitely consider myself an armchair sleuth. The criminally insane are an especially fun and entertaining group of psychos who are even more entertaining if they choose to take the stand.

I’m not judging these crazy B-words as if I were a juror, or an actual judge – Oh no! These nut cases will be judged on three criteria: 1) how heinous their crime was, 2) how crazy they are, and 3) how hot they are. Obviously, these criteria are subjective on my part. All three of these criteria will be scored on a scale of 1 to 10. Two of these crazy model citizens killed their male lovers, and the other two examples of good parenting killed their kids. We all know that heinous crimes are committed by crazy people, but some of them come off as crazier than the others. Some of them even come off as rational as is the case with some of the girls on this list.

THE CREW

Lori Valow. Lori is one of two women on this list who killed her kids. Most parents who kill their kids do it out of anger, neglect, or they are just sick of them and find a sinister way of getting rid of them. Not Lori. Nope. Not sure when it happened, but apparently, her kids became zombies and according to some Latter-Day Saints, mumbo jumbo, needed to die. She didn’t stop there either. After suffocating both of her kids, she mutilated, burned, and buried their bodies………..then went on a vacation with her husband. Lori was sentenced to life without parole. She did not take the stand, but the interview is kind of creepy because she seems so normal………….but she DID kill her kids, chop them up, then burned and buried them……..so, there’s that.    THE INTERVIEW. THE SCORE – 25 – 8/9/8

Taylor Shabusiness. This hottie is one of two women on this list who killed their lover during a meth-fueled sex romp. Taylor had a “friends with benefits” relationship with Shad Thyrion. At some point, the sex got rough and a chain found itself wrapped around Shad’s throat…….for way too long. Guess what happened? Taylor gave a detailed confession to investigators of how she dismembered him and sexually abused his corpse at the same time. “I was sucking and cutting,” Taylor told detectives, continuing with, “I liked it.” Taylor didn’t just dismember Shad, she butterflied his back and cut off his head for his mother to find in a bucket later that evening – HELLO! Taylor did not take the stand, but she DOES talk about performing oral on Shad while cutting him in the interview. THE INTERVIEW. THE SCORE – 22 – 7/8/7. 

Jodi Arias. Jodi is the other woman on this list who killed her lover after sex. She has been “diagnosed” as narcissistic, a pathological liar, bipolar, and a sociopath, so there’s no question as to her sanity. Despite Jodi’s mental challenge, she comes off as the most normal on this list, maybe even sophisticated . Jodi stabbed her lover 27 times, slit his throat, and then shot him in the forehead. Now, here’s the best part – Jodi got more than her 15 minutes of fame because this genius of an egomaniac actually took the stand…..FOR 18 DAYS. THE INTERVIEW.  THE SCORE – 27 – 7/6/9

Casey Anthony. This is the other parent of the year who killed her kid……..and unlike stupid Lori Valow, GOT AWAY WITH IT. Her defense was that har daughter, Caylee, fell in the pool and accidentally drowned. If you are a true crime junkie, like me, then you know murder by drowning is incredibly difficult to prove. Maybe Lori Valow should have dropped her kids weighted bodies in the middle of a lake instead of chopping them up. I’m not rating any of these nut-jobs on how smart they are, but if I were, Casey would be at the top of the list. In July 2011, Casey was found not guilty of first-degree murder, aggravated manslaughter, and child abuse.  This and the OJ Simpson cases, are greate examples of how good lawyers can deliver a not-guilty verdict to their guilty clients. THE INTERVIEW. THE SCORE – 17 – 4/5/8

Aileen Wuornos This woman is the only one on the list who was an actual “serial Killer”. She was a self described man-hating prostitute who killed 7 of her “johns” in a 12 month period. She was like the Michelin Star chef who hates food. Think about it; you’re just a dude who decided to cruise down to the hooker zone for a 6 dollar BJ and you run into a hooker with serious daddy issues………..and she kills you. She claimed that these JOHN’s abused her, so she killed them. OK, lets get real people; if you are a prostitute, you are probably not dealing with the best men that the human race has to offer. You’re dealing with scumbags, and you might want to actually kill some of them. That’s a sign to go get a job as a florist. THE INTERVIEW. THE SCORE – 14 – 6/8/0

WINNERS AND LOSERS

• Lori Valow – 24. Lori’s crimes were the most heinous, and her interview deserves a 9 in the crazy category. I gave Lori a 8 in the hot department because although she looks haggard, she’s the type of hot mess that I find attractive.
• Taylor Shabusiness – 22. She is right up there with Lori in the crazy department, but she only killed one person and yes, she was performing oral on the guy while she was cutting him. Also, I’ve seen Taylor without make up – she’s very average and slightly dumpy. That’s why I gave her a 7 in the hot department.
• Jodi Arias – 21. This is a classic case of what jealousy is and where it can go. Her (ex)boyfriend decided to move on; so she stabbed him 27 times, slit his throat, and then shot him in the forehead………..in self defense. She’s crazy, but not as crazy as blowing a guy while you cut him up. However, she is the hottest of this group.
• Casey Anthony -17. I gave her an 8 in the hot department, second to Jodi Arias. Basically, Casey was a woman who had an unwanted pregnancy, decided that she was a burden, and dropped her in the pool – oooops! Casey claimed it was an accident.
• Aileen Wuornos – 14. Yeah, she killed more people than the rest of these girls, but she didn’t chop them up, she didn’t do anything crazy, she just shot them. How boring. Aileene is the only one of these girls to get a 0 in the hot department, because………..well, look at her.

 Copyright 2025 John Ceccon. All rights reserved.