{"id":273,"date":"2013-10-13T09:29:26","date_gmt":"2013-10-13T16:29:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fullofkrap.com\/?p=273"},"modified":"2017-04-23T00:47:10","modified_gmt":"2017-04-23T07:47:10","slug":"love-it-or-leave-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.fullofkrap.com\/?p=273","title":{"rendered":"Love it or Leave it!"},"content":{"rendered":"

A brief history of the United States<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

By Phred F. Stone<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

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Recently, that redneck “America, love it\u00a0or leave it” battle cry was thrown in my direction by a cowboy hat wearing, big truck driving gentleman as I expressed my opposition to the wars in Iraq. He tried, and failed, to make me feel un-American. I felt\u00a0a duty as a real American to educate him\u00a0as too what a real American really is. These quasi-American ingrates apparently don’t understand the difference between criticizing our government and criticizing the United States of America. Let me explai<\/span>n.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Disclaimer:<\/span><\/span><\/strong> given the average I.Q of your average “Love it or Leave it” redneck, this piece is written on a\u00a05th\u00a0grade reading level. I’ve tried my best to dumb it down as much as possible so even the people who think Elvis<\/span> <\/strong>is alive or Obama<\/strong><\/span> is a Muslim will be able to understand it.\u00a0<\/span><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

In the beginning<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/span>, the only thing occupying this piece of land we now call the United States<\/strong><\/span> was\u00a0a bunch of people who wore feathers and shot arrows.\u00a0They practiced true freedom. Then, in 1607, a big boatload of white people from England crossed the Atlantic and landed in what would eventually become Jamestown Virginia. Next, in 1620, another big boatload of white people from England also crossed the Atlantic and landed in Plymouth Massachusetts. We now know those people as The Pilgrims. They’re the reason the turkey population of this country\u00a0takes a node-dive every year\u00a0<\/span><\/span>right around the last two weeks of November<\/span>. Both group’s were British citizens who decided to leave their home because they had had enough of the oppression and tyranny imposed on them by a bunch of elitist\u00a0dicks –\u00a0the British monarchy, who also forced them to wear horrible white wigs. The settlers\u00a0of 1607 and 1620 just wanted to come to a new land and experience this thing you may have hear of – freedom<\/strong><\/span>.\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\"lex\"<\/a>Once the British settlers actually settled in, life was good<\/span>…………at least for a little while. Their only worry was the occasional run-in with those feather wearing, arrow shooting people who had no idea that someday a baseball team in Cleveland would be named after them. Eventually, word got back to the monarchy in England that this place was the shit and prime for exploitation. It wasn’t long before all the bullshit the settlers left behind in England also crossed the Atlantic right behind them and …………well………….here we go again. (fleets of big boatloads of white people crossing the Atlantic)<\/strong> Oh yeah, the French decided they wanted a piece of the action too, and they started coming over in droves. Eventually\u00a0the settlers, the Brits, the French, and the feather & arrow people were fighting each other over control of this new land and in the end, the Brits pretty much controlled everything. T<\/span><\/span>he Brits then attempted to impose\u00a0the exact same oppressive tyrannical control over the settlers as they did back in England\u00a0and turned this place into a carbon copy of the motherland. That’s right. This used to be England<\/strong> <\/span>– keep that in mind because it’s an important component of this rant.\u00a0<\/span>Well<\/span><\/span>, the settlers\u00a0got tired of that shit and created their own army and fought the Brits. Did you get that? British citizens fighting the British government? Can you say revolution?<\/span> This used to be England!<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\"1776\"<\/a>They even had the balls to name the north-eastern part of this country New England\u00a0– HELLO! This used to be England, and we used to be British\u00a0citizens. \u00a0<\/span><\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Yes, I know history is boring, so let’s cut to the chase.<\/em><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Here is the important part, and it’s really really important too. The foundation of America is based on this simple fact – the settlers, who were British citizens, rose up,\u00a0overthrew the British government and formed the United States of America. These people effectively renounced their British citizenship by kicking the British governments ass and then renamed\u00a0themselves Americans. A group of American citizens then wrote this thing called the Constitution of the United States.<\/strong><\/a> The constitution spelled out what the government was, how it would be run, who would run it, what powers it did and did not have, and most importantly, that the people were in charge, not the government. That’s why the first three words in the constitution are “We the people<\/strong>“. The United States would be a government by the people and of the people.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

A few years after\u00a0the Constitution was written, James \"JamesMadison\"<\/a>Madison, who was one of the founding fathers of the United States, introduced this thing we know as the “amendments” to the constitution, or the Bill of Rights. The very first amendment reads as follows: (we’ll get to the others on another rant)<\/span><\/p>\n

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people to peaceably assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

Let’s break it down so, once again, a complete idiot can understand it. Yes – complete idiots have rights too! I can guarantee you there was at least one idiot among the founding fathers – every microcosm has one. And, yes, this does tie back in to my original point – if you haven’t already forgotten it.<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n